Hey Peeps! How have you been? Well, I am doing good too. I have been married for two and a half years now. And I have been thinking about marriage counselling.
Sounds weird? Does it feel that I am going through a plethora of marriage problems? If you are married, be honest with yourself and ask yourself few questions before judging me. Going for marriage counselling doesn’t mean that you or your partner is afflicted with any psychological disorder. It truly indicated that you want to figure out problems and resolve them for a happy married life.
Recently, I have received ME Health Magazine.This magazine is a storehouse of information related to men and women’s health. I read about premarital and marital counselling and thought of sharing the beautiful thoughts with you. Marriage counselling could be premarital counselling or marital counselling. Yes, you read it right, we should go for a counselling before getting married as well.
What is Marriage counselling?
Marriage counselling is also known as marital counselling or couple therapy. It can be taken by both married or unmarried couple. It helps to understand their partners, resolve conflicts and build their relationship stronger. Through this counselling, a couple gets the chance of better interpersonal conversation, negotiation, problem-solving and even to fight in a healthy way.
If you are serious about your life and planning to get married you should go for a premarital counselling. I do understand that today’s generation already knows each other and figure out their compatibility on their own before getting hitched.
Recently I read an article on Quora where a lawyer jokes about getting more business because of increasing divorce rate in India. Ironically, the rate of love marriage has also gone up over a decade. So, when you know each other and were compatible enough, why getting divorced now? Reasons could be as simple as you can imagine. As stated by Dr Shashi Joshi, Premarital counselling can help couples with the followings:
- It helps the couple to realise the ground reality rather than live in their dreamy world.
- Marriage counselling helps the couple to know the basis of marriage in life.
- It also helps in building mutual adjustments and discovering each other strengths and illustrating areas of relationship that may be problematic.
- Helps in building conversation and bring out feelings.
- Also, helps to determine compatibility and mutual adjustments.
- You get sex and contraceptive advise too.
- So basically you get a pre-bridal contract.
Having said that, it’s not necessary you are going through all the problems right now. To young couples, it’s really important to realize the benefits of staying together. “Life is not always a bed of roses”– realise it and then make a wise decision.
Here comes the perk of being married. I am sure 90% of us have never been through premarital counselling and decided to get married. I have been really conservative in this matter and hated the word counselling. And you if think the same, I feel you. We have fought more than 100 times and made up. There are multiple silly reasons why couples fight and major reasons couple ignore initially which could precipitate to a fight.
Some of the primary reasons are:
- Unrealistic expectations out of marriage
- Partners not getting time for each other
- Work pressure of an individual
- Lack of communication
- Going through social pressure
- Undergoing financial pressure
- Both are egoistic
- They stay in a nuclear family and unable to manage the stress
- Infertility and the partner hates to discuss it
- Both partners are working
- Children growing old and pressure of their upbringing
- Sexual promiscuity & open marriages
- Physical and mental abuse
ME health magazine explains, the percentage and cause of divorce in India. 30% of the marriage is at stake because of unwillingness to stay with in-laws or household works. And here comes the catch. If they you would have gone through a pre-marital counselling both of their expectations would have been discussed before. Wherein, other marriages fail because of alcoholism, addictions, sexual incompatibility, lack of trust and ego between partners.
Why Marriage Counselling?
After reading this article in “ME Health Magazine”, I figured out the couple who undergo premarital counselling are happier and work towards a successful marriage. In case you are planning getting married soon, please set your expectations right before getting hitched. Marrying for wrong reasons may lead you to loads of pressure and undue stress.
Those who are facing frequent clashes in their marriage and want to give it a second chance, fix an appointment with a marriage counsellor. I know couples fight and solve their misunderstandings between themselves. Many times we fight for same reasons and undergo the same situation. Even after the endless fight, you are not able to resolve or are unsatisfied with your partner’s deeds, undergo marriage counselling before calling off your marriage.
Marriage counselling and few adjustments can make your marriage successful. On a serious note, go for marriage counselling only if both the partners are willing to adjust and save the marriage.
Until the next time! Stay blessed.